Strength in Submission

This weekend, I went on a retreat with my church. The topic was "Men and Women, God's Way". It was such a blessing to be with my friends and learning about what it means to be a feminine woman and how we are supposed to interact with men. I had a lot of my thoughts clarified, especially on the topic of femininity.

I grew up understanding that women were supposed to submit to their husbands and other men, but not fully understanding what it meant. I knew that submission was a good thing, but I always viewed it as the woman being the passive weaker being. At the same time, I never fully believed that the current feminine movement was a good thing either because women weren't supposed to be fully independent and strong in the world's current standards. The worldly woman views femininity in a negative way and they want to be leaders - a woman that doesn't need a man to tell them what to do or how to be. I never really believed that women were supposed to be leaders in that sense, but I didn't fully understand what it meant to be a godly feminine woman. I was confused because I knew that women should be strong, but not strong in the way that the world defines strength, and I couldn't come to terms with how submitting myself would equate to strength.

Before the sermon on femininity, I was contemplating what the women in the Bible that were feminine and came up with examples of women like Ruth, Esther, and Deborah who were very strong women. In my mind, I knew they were feminine women, but they were strong. They all had a strength in them that lead to action, but yet they were still considered feminine. While I new they submitted themselves to God, I couldn't fully grasp how they submitted to men.


Femininity does not equal weakness. Biblical femininity means that we are the enhancers to the men and their leadership. We intensify the men's ministry and magnify the leadership of the men. Without women, the man's ministry would not be as complete. A feminine woman enhances the man through submitting herself to the man's direction and vision and must be flexible to whatever circumstances comes her way in her submission to the man's work. While a feminine woman is strong in her convictions from God, she follows the godly man's vision. A feminine woman also strengthens the man's ministry by helping him. She provides the strength needed to complete the work. Women nurture those who need help in completing their ministry. She is practical in completing tasks, not passive. She gives strength to the ministry of the man. The woman's perspective - and everything about the woman - complements the man and his ministry. While the man has the vision, the women is created to think differently so that they can add to the ministry of the man and make it even better than it would have been if the woman was not there. Women need to remember that since we are the ones that complement the men, it means that we are equal to them. We are equal but different in our strengths in a way that complements men.

As women, we have the the ability to build up the man or strip him of his respect, honor, and reputation. Women can manipulate men in a negative way. Women are powerful in that respect, and we need to remember that we need to put that energy into submitting to the men so that we can strengthen them instead of harm them. Women need to fellowship with men to encourage and affirm them in their growth as a leader. 

In the end, I think it is important for women to remember that through submitting to the men in their lives - the leaders of her church, men in the ministry, and ultimately her husband - she is submitting to God's will, who is the one we must submit our whole lives to. It's not about the woman or the man, but God and His plan and will. He is the one that matters and His glory is at stake.

My questions have been answered, because now I know that only the Biblical definition of femininity is the only definition that fits strength in submission. The world will lean to either extreme, but the Biblical definition balances both in a perfect and holy way. I can finally rest my conflicted ideas because I know that God had a perfect definition of femininity when He made the world.